During an episode of Facebook’s Red Table Talk, actress and businesswoman Jada Pinkett-Smith dropped a gem. She said, “... you have to take care of yourself in order to have the alignment and power to take care of others…” For over six years this quote has been consistently shared onto our timelines as a reminder that being “selfish” has its benefits. And it resonates with many of us, some who are not mothers since it's direct approach also requires having an inner dialogue much like this one: “Can I give this person or task my all right now? If not, what’s stopping me? What is required for me to perform at my best?”
Being honest about our requirements to thrive makes juggling the roles of being amazing creators, partners, daughters, sisters and girlfriends easier. So, how can we reach stability before life seemingly blows up in our faces? The answer lies in being present. A self-care practice organized to redirect a person’s attention to their current reality. By using this tool to increase our awareness, we get the willpower to show up and out into the world. But, without it we run the risk of operating out of impulsiveness, incompleteness and avoidance within our relationships and daily life occurrences.
However, don’t just take our word for it. Plenty of top female powerhouses use such techniques within their schedules to keep a level head. Here are a few suggestions to help get you started.
Set a consistent schedule
Monica Sanita, co-founder and COO of Siempre Spirits Limited, recommends having a structured schedule to YFS Magazine. “Remind yourself daily that if you’re not your best self, you can’t give your business your best. Set your work hours, close your laptop at the end of the workday, turn off your phone, read daily, write nightly, get some fresh air and stay creative.”
Let’s take a long walk…
Before it gets too cold that is. Grab a group of girlfriends or go solo on an adventure in the woods. Whether it is hiking, walking, or meditating barefoot in the grass, you can never go wrong when you choose to connect back to nature. Actress, filmmaker, and mental health advocate Stacy-Ann Buchanan best explains it to Flare magazine. She says, “Nature gives such clarity to my soul. When I go hiking, I’m completely lost in serenity. Now, I’m at the point where I’m able to help other people. I started this women’s hiking group called Step Sisters. I post where we’re going to go, and anyone can come and join us.”
Check In
Nancy Colier, Psychotherapist, mindfulness teacher and overall spiritual counselor, advocates for paying attention to what you are paying attention to. In her blog post for PsychologyToday.com, she suggests asking simple yet profound questions to watch how your mind responds. By asking, “Where am I right now?” or “Am I here?” you are doing a mental check in, which Colier says helps catch your brain up to where your physical body is. She goes into greater detail in this post, 10 Best Practices for Being Present
Honorable Mention: Make a List
And possibly check it twice? A contributing factor in making us feel overwhelmed is the reality of what we have to do and not knowing when to handle it. Create a list of every immediate task or problem you have, then brainstorm about what you can do (if it's within your control), the deadline, and what you need. Having an organized and developed plan helps our minds focus on what is before us and prevents the flustered feeling of our brains micromanaging multiple situations in one moment.
Since the airing of Red Table Talk, Jada Pinkett-Smith has encouraged the act of putting oneself first within our community. Although she is not the only advocate for living a mindful life, her authentic and relatable attitude towards the concept is inspiring to any person, particularly women with responsibilities to fulfill and no time to kill. Through her words, we can exercise what it takes to be present, fulfill our needs and make money moves like a true girl boss.
By: Shay Fuller